The Hidden Cost of Play: How Orbeez Guns, War Games, and TV Shows Like Baddies Are Subconsciously Programming Our Children for Violence
As a parent and someone who works with children, I’ve always been cautious about anything that promotes violence, especially when it comes to kids. A few years ago, when my daughter asked for an Orbeez gun for her birthday, I hesitated. She’d seen it on TikTok or YouTube, and like many children, wanted to mimic what she saw. The idea of her playing with a gun, even a toy, didn’t sit well with me. After researching the product, I found it couldn’t be shipped to our area, which brought me some relief. It felt like a sign—not just for her, but for all children. In a world already saturated with violent imagery from war games and other media, adding toy guns into the mix didn’t seem wise.
Still, my daughter kept asking for the gun. Eventually, for her next birthday, I asked my brother, who lives in another area, to see if the Orbeez gun was available near him. It turned out that he could get it there, even though it wasn’t available for delivery to my zip code. Despite his preference for more educational gifts, he bought it for her birthday. We had just moved into a new house with a playground and a park nearby, and though I allowed her to play with the toy, I restricted its use to the backyard. I didn’t want my children walking around with guns, even if they were just toys. But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that letting her play with it was somehow dangerous—was I inadvertently normalizing violence?
Soon after, the Orbeez gun became available for delivery in all areas, including mine. Suddenly, every kid in the neighborhood had one. What had once felt like a small relief was now everywhere. Toy guns became common among the children in our neighborhood, and it was hard to ignore the shift. They were running around with these guns, engaging in mock battles that felt too close to real-world violence. It wasn’t just “play” anymore—something deeper was happening.
What concerned me most wasn’t just the visible behaviors but the impact on their minds. The content children engage with influences them at multiple levels—conscious, subconscious, and superconscious.
Conscious programming is easy to understand—children know when they’re playing with a toy gun or watching a TV show like Baddies. They make choices at this level of awareness.
Subconscious programming is trickier. This is where the mind absorbs information constantly, even when kids aren’t paying direct attention. The subconscious doesn’t know the difference between fantasy and reality. So when kids are repeatedly exposed to violent media or play with war-themed toys, they internalize these behaviors as normal. Over time, this exposure can desensitize them to aggression, making violence seem like a natural part of life.
Then, at an even deeper level, there’s superconscious programming. This is where core beliefs and values are shaped—where children form their ideas of right and wrong, how to handle conflict, and what relationships should look like. If violent media and toys dominate their playtime, they may come to believe that conflict, aggression, and dominance are acceptable ways to interact with the world.
As a parent and someone who works with children, I’ve seen how these games, toys, and shows influence kids beyond just their play. I watched as children in my neighborhood began to treat toy guns as a regular part of their lives, running around and pretending to shoot each other like they were in a video game or an action movie. It wasn’t just “innocent fun”—it was slowly conditioning their minds.
Working closely with children, I’ve also seen how reality TV shows like Baddies influence their real-life behaviors. Kids are not just watching—they’re imitating what they see. In schools, I’ve seen children acting out the toxic behaviors they see on screen with friends they’ve known for years. These aren’t strangers they’re treating badly; they’re classmates, neighbors, and community members they’ve spent their lives with. Yet, they are quick to turn on each other, just like the dramatic, conflict-filled relationships they see on TV.
Friendships that have been built over years crumble in moments, not because of real conflicts but because these kids have internalized the patterns they’ve seen. They mirror the yelling, betrayal, and physical confrontations from shows like Baddies. The subconscious mind is powerful, and when it’s constantly exposed to these toxic behaviors, children start to believe that this is how relationships should be managed.
The impact on their superconscious—their deeper sense of morality and relationships—runs even deeper. Black and brown children, in particular, are already dealing with societal pressures and often lack positive media representation. Watching shows that glorify toxic conflict and manipulation can warp their understanding of how to navigate their own relationships, especially when those shows reinforce negative stereotypes. It’s painful to witness children who grew up together, who were once inseparable, suddenly act as if loyalty and kindness no longer matter.
It’s one thing for children to engage with war-themed video games, but when they begin to play with toy guns that look like real weapons, the line between fantasy and reality blurs even more. In my neighborhood, I’ve seen kids walking around with backpacks full of Orbeez guns, some even wrapping tape around the barrels to make them look more realistic. What might seem like harmless play is actually troubling because many of these kids live in communities where real violence isn’t far from their doorsteps.
According to the CDC, gun deaths among children and teens rose 50% between 2019 and 2021, with black children disproportionately affected. The sad truth is, these children are growing up in environments where the line between pretend violence and real violence is increasingly thin. And the games they play, the shows they watch, and the toys they use are subtly programming them to see violence as normal.
One day, I saw just how close this play can come to reality. My son was sitting on the front steps of our house, and a van pulled up. One of his friends pointed an Orbeez gun out of the window and fired at him. My son screamed, and for a split second, I didn’t know if it was real or just “play.” I ran to the door, furious, and told my son, “You better tell your friends if they ever do that dumb ish again, they’ll have to deal with me.” It hurt deeply to witness that moment—it felt too much like a drive-by shooting. Thankfully, it was just a toy gun, but that brief moment of not knowing what was happening shook me to the core. It could have been real, and that thought haunts me.
This is where my internal conflict lies as a parent. I eventually let my kids play with their Orbeez guns out in front of the house. Why? First, because I don’t want them to be at a disadvantage when every other kid in the neighborhood has one and uses it against them. It felt unfair for them to be unarmed in a world where other kids are running around “fighting.” But there’s a bigger question I struggle with: If the rest of the world is preparing for war, should my children be equipped too? It’s a tough line to walk between protecting their innocence and making sure they’re not left defenseless in a society that seems to be embracing violence.
I believe we need to be more mindful of the subconscious and superconscious programming our kids are exposed to. The games they play, the shows they binge-watch, music they listen to, and the toys they interact with all shape their perception of violence, relationships, and conflict resolution. It’s no surprise that many black and brown children are growing up in environments where violence feels like the norm. The media and toys they engage with, even in the form of pretend war games or reality TV, can leave lasting impressions on their developing minds.
We have to take control of this narrative. Rather than allowing our children to be programmed for war—through video games, toy guns, or toxic media—we must guide them toward healthier, more positive ways of playing, interacting, and resolving conflicts. Protecting their innocence doesn’t just mean sheltering them from violence—it means actively reprogramming their minds with healthy influences. The battlefield doesn’t belong in their schools, homes, or communities.
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